Montaigne said that everyone should spend at least 15 minutes a day thinking about death. I remember thinking when I read that, ‘How sensible!’
It was a bit overdone – I don’t say to myself, ‘Right, now I shall think about death for 15 minutes.’ But I think one should be aware of it very early on, and think about it, so that it isn’t frightening.
I had a terribly sad time last week meeting a very old friend, who is awfully ill and who is terribly frightened of death. I asked him why and tried to get him unfrightened. My father, if you talked about death, got up and left the room. He couldn’t bear it. But to me, it’s always seemed part of life.
Nobody likes the thought of dying – which could be very disagreeable indeed. But it doesn’t have to be. My mother’s great gift to me was that she died easily. So I realised being with her then that it wasn’t necessarily horrible. I hope that I’m going to have the same luck.
My friend said to me, ‘What’s going to happen afterwards.’ I said, ‘Darling, nothing’s going to happen. It’ll be like going to sleep.’
I think he’d had a rather religious upbringing and thought he was going to burn in hell.
Diana Athill
Leave a Comment